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Fri.Aug.20th 2010
Good evening Caregivers! Tonight we are talking about juggling. I suppose some of you are getting pretty good at it; and most of you, like myself, are pretty poor at it. I have to feel like the number one line spoken in our house is, “Just a minute.” My seven-year-old will say, "Daddy, look at this" while I am carrying my wife across a room, to which I say, "Just a minute."
Now I say, "Rose, pick up your room" and she says, "Just a minute.” Hmmm, wonder where she learned that? In the great scheme of things, it’s probably ok and teaches character for her to know everybody can’t jump every time she needs or wants something, but I also believe there is another side to this story.
Whether you are a caregiver with children or a caregiver of children, other family members can’t always be put on hold. No one is trying to say that is an easy task. I’m sure you' re thinking, "My plate is so full I can’t take on one more thing." (Been there, am there, done, and doing that.) Your spouse, your children, your loved ones cannot be put on hold forever. You might, however, reassess what quality time with others is all about. It’s not necessarily spa days, golf days, long vacations (what’s that?), no, it’s when you are alone with them letting them have your undivided attention. This is a tough subject for me because my mind is usually racing. When I am alone with my daughter, I have to remind myself to give her my attention. Sometimes it’s simple things like, when my daughter and I are walking the dog in our yard, I can tell she is looking at me, studying me. Then she breaks the silence and says “Dad I love you. You’re a great Dad!” We stop and hug each other. We don’t care who’s driving by, 'coz for that moment it’s just God and us, and Buddy the dog. Can’t find that at Disney World, in a spa, on a golf course, or at the store. Caregivers, love the ones you take care of, don’t forget the ones who wait to get a second of your time.
Please don’t forget God, He also is waiting for a little one-on-one time.
Gal 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Gal 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
Tues. July 6th 2010
Good evening Caregivers! Tonight we are talking about discouragement. Do you ever find yourself discouraged? It could be from several things: Tasks not completed, (because you're so busy), the person you care for not improving, dismal reports from the doctor, not feeling appreciated. How are we going to make it?
You could take the Scarlett O’Hara approach and say, " I’ll worry about that tomorrow, after all, tomorrow is another day.” And how’s that working for ya? That approach doesn’t seem to work for me. (And I’ve tried it.)
There is really only one answer: “prayer”. Now don’t get lost in the simplicity of that answer. Prayer is a mighty and powerful tool placed in the hands and hearts of God's children. Prayer changes things. Do you believe that?
To me it’s kind of like this, God is asking you and I to dig a really big hole in the ground. We go straight to the kitchen and get a spoon and start right away, because we love God and want to serve Him. The big problem is that right next to the place He wants us to dig there sits a backhoe. He is just waiting for us to ask if we can use it.
Makes you think of the line in the song, “All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.” Don’t forget to pray.
Father God, right now I lift up to you all my caregiver friends, that you would teach us to cast our cares upon you, because you care for us.
In Jesus name, amen.
1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Sun. June 6, 2010
Good evening Caregivers! Tonight we are talking about longevity. I have become a long term caregiver the fun way. Twenty-five years ago tonight I was wondering if I would really be able to take care of the girl I loved. I was having a hard time getting to sleep, as any groom-to-be before the big day.
Yes, tomorrow is our 25th anniversary.
It’s a time of remembrance. I remember a lot of uncertainty. We couldn’t see very far in those days but we loved God, and we loved each other. God has opened many doors of opportunity. We have literally climbed mountains, traveled (although not internationally), been on radio, television, and stages all over the USA and always returned to the same house. We have always been allowed to do what people say can’t be done (have a baby).
All this excitement does have a counterpart. As people, we tend to look at others and think how exciting their lives must be. Even reading the Bible, we read of great characters and the problems they face, and they get through in two chapters.
What I am saying is I think Melanie and I have a great story. I am glad to be a part of this story, but the truth is like everybody else; we have days where nothing big happens. In fact, we have a lot of ordinary days that can be boring. I actually like a lot of those days. You know we have taken 9,000 showers, eaten 36,000 meals, spent 9125 nights together (I think we’ve been apart about 4 nights), had a few fights, cried a few tears, laughed a million laughs, and I can’t guess how many girls' restrooms I’ve seen from the inside. These are the ordinary uneventful days that make up part of a wonderful story; a story I have found great joy in being a part of.
So here’s the big question: would I do it again if every day would be exactly the same? Oh yeah, the good has definitely outweighed the bad by a lot. Melanie Gay Sichting O’Neal, Let’s do another 25 years and then we’ll evaluate it again. Love you for ever.
Always quote a scripture here but tonight I’m breaking my own rule and quoting a song I wrote 14 years ago:
Thank you Lord for saving me, forgiving my sins and setting me free, but there’s another reason why I bow to pray.
Thank you Lord for loving me so, the way you chose to let it show, I thank you for the wife you gave to me.
Thank you for the wife of my youth, she’s a gift of love from my Father above He is the life the way and the truth, and when He gives a gift to me He always gives His Best for me and proved it by the gift He gave for me….at Calvary.
Wed. April 28, 2010
Good Evening Caregivers! Let’s talk about hope. Do you know sometimes God says yes? We as Christians work so hard to accept God's will, that He might say no, that we think it is no before we ask. Sometimes He still says yes. Your loved one can get better. Example, Joel Hemphill, the writer of Consider the Lilies, He's Still Working on Me, and others, was diagnosed with colon cancer. It was rough going for a long while, lots of prayer and prayer lines and services. He is cancer free, but he learned a valuable lesson. God still heals. He later penned these words:
Like Simon whom the soldiers compelled to help Jesus, carry his cross up the hill, We had to bear a cross unexpected, not wooden, but a cross just as real. Our suffering brought love for those who are hurting, and a brand new compassion inside. Our sorrow is over and now we are smiling, but don’t let us forget that we cried.
Now I have a new love for my savior, for all that he suffered for me. A new heartfelt appreciation, for his merciful death on the tree. Now there are no more nights of walking the floor, no days when we' re dying inside, Thank you Jesus for teaching us to smile again, but don’t let us forget that we cried.
If someday in your home so joyful and happy, no laughter rings in the halls. If your place becomes a desert so barren, you can only stare at the walls, soon from an oasis you’ll look back toward the desert, where in you what needed to died, and say Lord we’re rejoicing for where you have brought us. But don’t let us forget that we cried.
If you or your loved one, is going thru the valley, don’t be afraid to ask Jesus to help, but if He doesn’t answer quickly, at least ask Him what you can learn through this. Because someday you will cross paths with someone struggling and you can tell what you learned. I find hope in Joel Hemphill’s words and I hope you do too.
2Co 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
2Co 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
2Co 1:5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
Thurs. April 1st., 2010
Good Evening Caregivers! Time to air some dirty laundry, here’s the scoop. I complain, sometimes I not only complain, I ramble on about it too. I know nobody else does, so here’s your window into the seamy underbelly. Confessions of a carnal Christian. I’ve even said why to God. Let me tell you something, God seems to be able to handle it. One of the things that bugs me is well intentioned people trying to comfort one another with silly thoughts.
If you got your health you got everything. I complained because my feet hurt, till I met a man with no legs. In other words you’ll be better if you can find somebody worse off than you. Is that where you find your comfort? What about the man in the worse shape in the world. Is there no hope for him? As an example, of how foolish these things can sound, my good friend Pstr. Mike Pender on the day of his daughter’s birth found out she had been born with spina bifida, when a man in an elevator said, "What’s wrong?" to an obviously struggling new dad. "It doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or girl as long as they are healthy you love em."
Bro. Mike replied, "I Don't mean to be disrespectful, I learned today, that healthy or not, you still love them anyway." Trials sure seem to make things clearer.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve found things seldom go my way, and after I give up and quit fighting it, I usually (always) find out it was better orchestrated by a loving Father working all things together for my good. Not all things are good but:
Rom 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
Rom 8:27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Mon. March 15, 2010
Good evening Caregivers! Tonight we’re talking about the 800 pound gorilla in the room, yea death, there I said it straight and to the point. Death is what we’re fighting, we don’t always talk about it but when the person you are caring for is fragile, it is always looming.
I’m 47 and spent a remarkable little amount of time around somebody hours from death, considering I have been in ministry 25 years. A few days ago I felt the need to go see a lady I have known 20 some years, who was dying of cancer, I brought a guitar to sing a few songs and pray. To watch her husband, was nothing short of overwhelming, the way he cared for her so gentle, not overbearing, not inattentive, but when he could tell she was thirsty, he took a little sponge on a stick and gave her a drink. My heart stood at attention, do you remember when Jesus was on the cross (by the way He is risen) he said I thirst and they tried to give him water, this takes me to another scripture; when you do it to the least of these my brethren you do it to me. I saw a man give God a drink. Caregivers when you love the people you help, you’re showing love toward God. My dear friend Rich Barker says “I don’t have to I get to”.
Mat 25:37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
Mat 25:38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Mat 25:39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
Mat 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Thurs. March 4, 2010
Good afternoon caregivers! It's Melanie speaking. JB kindly asked me if I would like to be a guest writer. It surprised me a bit at first, but then I believe the Lord has laid something on my heart to tell you. From my heart and on behalf of all of us "careneeders" THANK YOU! It doesn't sound like enough to say and I know that it doesn't get said enough. How unfair for someone who gives so much of themselves so much of the time to feel unappreciated. I've heard it said, and I admit it's true, that those of us with disabilities can be selfish because we're so focused on trying to survive. Please forgive us when we forget to notice all that you do for us. You are vital to us for life as we know it. Not just because you are taking care of our physical needs. It goes beyond that. You are taking care of us physically because you love us for the person we are on the inside; the one that God created and Jesus died for. That love -- that God kind of love -- gives us hope to keep striving. So... THANK YOU!!!
Joh 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
Joh 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Joh 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Wed. February 24th 2010
Good evening Caregivers! Some days it gets to be too much. When you watch someone you care for having a struggle and you can’t fix it. You can pray, and it seems to fall on deaf ears (we all know better) it’s in these times this song rings true to me, I hope it will do that for you.
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials he multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
2 Co 12:8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
2 Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2Co 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Sun. February 21, 2010
Good evening caregivers! Today’s message is 2 lists. We all sure can build a long list of things to complain about, some one said go ahead and write it and burn it, maybe, but I have another idea. Write the list of all your complaints, this could be cleansing, folks done ya wrong, health issues, fears, finance, cancer, Alzheimer’s, Muscular dystrophy, MS, Diabetes, heart conditions, dirty house, (my cross to bear). Keep that list by your bed. Then write a list of what’s right in your life, my wife, my daughter, a home, food, running water, heat, Most of all peace with Jesus. It doesn’t have to be longer, because it is the quality, not the quantity of the list that counts. Listen, if Jesus is on the list you win. Even with Jesus on that list, if you don’t pick it up and carry it with you, it can’t help. So which list do you want to carry today?
Heb 4:14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.
Heb 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
Heb 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Good evening caregivers! Hope all is well with you. Today was a snow day so you think we might have taken advantage of the time to get a lot done. Yeah right. After morning therapy (leg stretching; not the kind of therapy we really need), clean up and breakfast/lunch, feeding the animals, and watching a 7 year old's version of a fashion show, we started our day. The 7 year old is the only one that progressed. Today she cleaned her room, and the bathroom sink. She loves to clean the sink. I don’t know why, but I hope it blossoms into house cleaning. I picked up a lot of stuff, but that won’t hold up in court; cleaned a toilet (probably wouldn’t hold up in court either,) Played Donkey Kong Country on my vintage super Nintendo upstairs with my buddy Rose, while Melanie worked on the website. We did a thousand other things. To be honest, in the midst of a "do stuff/do nothing" day we have several mini conversations about God; no long sermons, but He is there in the midst of us. What I do regret however is that even on a slow day for a caregiver, you stay quite busy. I can’t honestly say I took the time to do what Jesus said when he spoke
Mat 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Ma Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
ea
Don’t forget to talk to your Father today!! He’s waiting.
Fri.Aug.20th 2010
Good evening Caregivers! Tonight we are talking about juggling. I suppose some of you are getting pretty good at it; and most of you, like myself, are pretty poor at it. I have to feel like the number one line spoken in our house is, "Just a minute." My seven-year-old will say, "Daddy, look at this" while I am carrying my wife across a room, to which I say, "Just a minute."
Now I say Rose pick up your room and she says”just a Minute” Hmmm wonder where she learned that? In the great scheme of things, it’s probably ok and teaches character for her to know everybody can’t jump every time she needs or wants something, but I also believe there is another side to this story. Wither you are a caregiver with children or a caregiver of children, other family members can’t always be put on hold. No one is trying to say that is an easy task, I’m sure your thinking, my plate is so full I can’t take on one more thing (been there, am there, done, and doing that) Your spouse, your children, your loved one’s cannot be put on hold forever. You might however reassess what quality time with others is all about. It’s not necessarily spa days, golf days, long vacations (what’s that?), no, it’s when you are alone with them letting them have your undivided attention. This is a tough subject for me because my mind is usually racing, when I am alone with my daughter I have to remind myself to give her my attention. Sometimes it’s simple things like, when my daughter and I are walking the dog in our yard, I can tell she is looking at me, studying me, then she breaks the silence and says “Dad I love you, you’re a great Dad” we stop and hug each other, we don’t care who’s driving buy, coz for that moment it’s just God and us, and Buddy the dog. Can’t find that at Disney World, in a spa, on a golf course, or at the store. Caregivers love the ones you take care of, don’t forget the ones who wait to get a second of your time.
Please don’t forget God, he also is waiting for a little one on one time.
Gal 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Gal 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
Tues. July 6th 2010
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